Imaginary Me

Question: What would the best version of Laura Jean look like? What would be her strengths?

I’m a big believer in God and I believe that God creates us as we are for a reason.  To simply answer the question the best version of Laura Jean is the version I am now.  I am Haitian, 5’6, short hair and very rebellious.  Everything I believe in is built on what I’ve learned in my own personal life and what I’ve been exposed too as a child.  If there is something I don’t believe in I will make sure to articulate my idea or my opinion and everyone’s entitled to their own opinion so I don’t expect anyone to agree with me.  I am a little last minute is everything but I’ve found a way to make myself immune to that characteristic.  I am a very determine person and if I am dedicated to something or someone I will make sure I put my 100% to accomplish a good relationship and good outcome.  I guess the strength that God blessed me with is the same thing that keeps me motivated and that’s my drive and determination to succeed.  This may sound a little overweening; however, it is just me.

Learned

Self-improvement can be difficult and before 2011 started I had many goals to reach and many obstacles set in front of me.  I wanted to improve a lot and in many different areas.  Areas like school and really finding myself and my purpose.  I had some obstacles in 2011, when I lost my brother in March.  I found myself slipping in school and being very anti-social.   I didn’t want to be in school nor talk to anyone.  I build a wall where trust wasn’t going out of and neither was it being received.  It took me a few weeks before I could snap out of this grieving stage and this stage of self-blame and negativity.  I realized my brother loved me and didn’t want me to be flunking school nor being so restricted.  It was at that moment that I learned that I had the potential to grab myself from a low place and overcome those obstacles that turned me into someone I wasn’t.

When I graduated high school I was very sure of myself that I was going to go to Colby Sawyer College.  Unfortunately I was hit with a huge problem called, money.  In the fall of 2010 I was forced due to my lack of financial support, to go to Bunker Hill.  I wasn’t very happy about it.  My parents talked me into it and honestly I really didn’t care much.  When 2011 came I thought to myself, work hard and try seeing if Colby Sawyer will accept you with the Progressive Scholarship.  That’s exactly what I did, I worked hard through the spring semester of 2011 and in the fall I was told that I go the scholarship, full tuition.  Through this whole experience I sat back after hearing the great news and realized my determination.  I realized I had a determination and ambition not only in school but in everything I wanted in life. 

Examples like my iPod touch.  I was determined to get it but when it first came out I didn’t get it like everyone else.  I saved up and waited for the opportunity and I ended up getting it.  Another example is my phone.  The same as the IPod touch when it came out I really wanted it and knew that it was going to take hard work to get it.  I asked around and no one wanted to help so again I worked hard and got it. My whole point here is although delayed, everything I’ve wanted so far in life, I’ve gotten.  Moreover throughout 2011, I’ve been able to realize and target my strength and weakness.  I work really well under pressure and I think that’s a strength and a weakness.  Most importantly I realized my potentials to be the best in whatever it is I do.  My drive is out of control and I do have an extreme competitive side of me.  As the bad has occured in my life this year of 2011, the good has over shine many of the bad.  Of course my brother’s death can never be over shined by any event because it did have a dramatic change in my life; however, I use my brother as an angel guiding me through everything I do and I truly believe god and him are the ones who helped me realize my strength.

Pre-judgmental thoughts.
I walk around with the fear of destroying.
No words spoken of the anger that I've consumed
Actions secured
Happiness from the eager man
So violent but so careless
Sometimes the two just wrap together
The real mind of a monster
No comprehension of the process of that man's daily being
The so called human walks around as an a victum
Depise the inhuman
I can no longer live in such misbelief

Senseless

The sensation does not come from knowing that life happens, it comes from knowing that life's happening with you.
I smile,
I blush,
But I'm also willing to try with you.
So let's hold hands and let life take us away.

Final

So my third post, was my last because I am done with the book.  I found this really exciting and fun and so tomorrow I will be going to the library to pick a new book.
EXPECT MORE :)

Third post for "The Joy Luck Club" by Amy Tan

     I’ve read my next 100 pages and in all the stories I’ve read so far there are very interesting significant similarities.  In all the stories within this book, starting with “The Joy Luck Club” to “Best Quality” the narrators mother is a significant figure.  The mother always have the best instincts.  For example in “Rice Husband” the narrators mother told her that for each rice grain she leaves on her plate the man she is supposed to marry will have a pock mark on his face.  It turns out the one boy that had the most pock marks was this kid who  often bullied the narrator and the narrator refused to believe that she will ever marry this nasty faced individual.  The narrator decides to leave almost all her rice uneaten and thinks, maybe the boy will develop some kind of sickness that would eventually kill him.  Sadly the boy did die of an extremely rare measles-related illness and the narrator was now addicted to not eating.  Again the narrators mother told her about this idea of the man she was going to marry but she refused to accept it and now not only is she feeling guilty hearted but she is suffering with anorexia.

     In many ways I can relate with the whole mothers instinct because like many others, I know there are times our mothers would tell us something, but at the end of the day we tend to ignore what she has to say and she ends up being right.  Many times I’ve told my mother about someone I liked or someone who liked me and it seems as if they were never good enough for her.  At first it was a little hard dealing with my mothers negativity and her constant rude comments about how I pick the, no life, gangster looking individuals.  One particular boy who I had crushed on for a long time decided to give us a try and for three years of struggles and joy in our relationship I thought nothing could change my mind about my strong feelings for this boy.  My mom on the other hand never liked him and always told me to stay away.  I didn’t stay away, I just continued with him and left my mother to complain to herself.  Although like the story he did not die but my mother was right.  The man I dedicated a lot of my time to, was never as interested in me as I was in him.  It killed at first; however, it was relieving to know that I no longer had to waste no more time and dedication in someone so pointless to my life.  I know I’m talking a little bad about this boy but now we are closer then ever just as friends and nothing more.  So now when my mother says something about someone I like I pay close attention to what she has to say while letting my feelings play it’s role.

Second posting for "The Joy Luck Club" by Amy Tan

Before I go on about the next part of my reading assignment I would like to take the time to explain to you why I choose this book.  In all honesty I went to the library and while searching for the other books I glanced at “The Joy Luck Club” by Amy Tan and from the first sentence I read I knew I had to pick that book.  The first sentence went something like this “My father has asked me to be the fourth corner at the Joy Luck Club” (Tan page19).  Simple, yes but there was just an attachment that drew my attention towards the book.

Recently I read “Half and Half” which is part of the second section The Twenty-Six Malignant Gates and this story was personally touching and very inspiring.  A woman is going through a divorce and tells her mom about it and in this situation her mother tells her to work hard on making it work with her husband.  However what inspired me the most was the story in between her problems.  The story was about how she lost her bother and since then her mother who use to always carry around her bible has placed it under the table.  The significance from her brother’s death to her marriage is after her brother had fell into the sea her mother went back the next day to pray because of their traditional beliefs; moreover, the narrator made that connection after her brother died the mother knew it wasn’t good and he probably wouldn’t come back yet she tried so now the narrator had to try regarding all the lost in faith.

It’s interesting because the narrator does compare fate and faith, two words sounding very alike but yet so different in meaning.  Fate is more like fortune and destiny and faith is more like belief and devotion.  The narrator ends with the thought that it was fate that happened when she lost her brother and now she is losing her husband; however, when all things go wrong people seem to have a high level of faith.  Now when you hear the word faith you might automatically think God but faith can be in even saving your marriage.  This story did a good job in showing how faith can be used in different way and that is very inspiring.

The first story was a little different from the second, but at the end of the day the main plot of Asian immigrants dealing with their Americanized kids is still a main factor in the story I recently read.  As a child of immigrating parents I know how hard it might be for both the children and the parents.  The transition of a comfortable tradition to a brand new can be incredibly hard at times but it’s a learning process and time consuming.  Now that I think about it maybe that is the real reason why I was immediately connected to this book by Amy Tan.

First posting for "The Joy Luck Club" by Amy Tan

In "The Joy Luck Club" by Amy Tan, there are 16 different stories; moreover, they all have a similarity.  Each story talks about the problems between Asian immigrant mothers and their Americanized children. The first story is about a young lady who has just losted her mother and is now faced with the thought of taking her place.  The narrator starts the by explaining her mother's story connecting to the joy luck club.  The narrator, Jing-Mei is the daughter of an Asian immigrant who came to San Fransisco due to the World War 2 during the late 1940's.  When the narrators mom arrived to San Fransisco she started this club which she took from her native country, called the Joy Luck Club.  In the club they play a game called Mahjong which is a game for four players involving dice and domino-like tiles.  The narrators mom two childhood friends were her partners in this club and when the narrators mom had pasted away it was up to Jing-Mei to take her mother's place.  Although Jing-Mei is everything like her mother , she doesn't believe she can ever be as great as her mother.  Jing-Mei has twin half sisters who the mother left during her tragic move to the US.  Jing-Mei is aware of her sisters in China and with her mothers death still taunting her she decides to take her mothers place.  Jing-Mei also returns to China to meet her two half sisters.

Amy Tan has a very interesting way of writing, she reminds me of another interesting writer name Haruki Murakami.  Haruki is a Japanese writer and though his writing is quiet awkward having more than one person's story in one book and all connecting to one another is as similar to Amy Tan.  Amy Tan breaks each part down to four main parts and each main part has four individual stories.  This is different and keep readers very interested.